Chapter 16

elissa’s mother, whose husband’s death had sunk her into a deep depression, was again filled with life. Magdalene Archer spent three months planning a wedding.

She took her own wedding dress out of its storage box and altered it to fit her daughter. With great pains, she measured and pinned the silk cloth. She repaired the slight damage of time to the hem and the seam in the left sleeve.

Once she was done with the simple tailoring, Magdalene became overcome with the desire to improve upon the dress. She added beading to the waistline, tapering it down to a point at the back. Unsatisfied with the tapering point, she began enhancing the back with embroidery. She developed a pattern of leaves and flowers, a bouquet, that flowed from the back of the waist down the skirt and out to the left and right in exotic sprays at the hem of the train. To balance the now intricate train, Magdalene embroidered the high collar of the dress, which spouted another bouquet, tapering to its resolution at the beaded waistline.

Then, Magdalene began work on a new veil that comprised layer upon layer of embroidered lace bound by a beaded band that echoed the new waist.

While she spent days and evenings sewing, she found time to arrange many details of days and times, flowers and horses, food and drink.

“Mama,” Melissa said, “you don’t need to make all this fuss.”

As the center of a fuss, though, Melissa glowed. John Peacock came to see her every evening. He stared at her with doe eyes and sputtered his feelings at her in awkward, adolescent spurts. They held hands, and Melissa basked in John’s admiration.

Awaking early on her wedding day, Melissa could smell frying bacon from the kitchen. Her mother was cooking a wedding breakfast. Family and neighbors were waiting downstairs.

She took her time over her morning toilet, adjusting her hair and carefully choosing a morning dress to wear downstairs, knowing that soon she would need to re-dress, rearrange her hair, and prepare herself for a second stage of the day.

When she appeared downstairs, her mother wiped floured hands on an apron and came to her. The guests had not arrived yet, but baked goods, bacon, and eggs were prepared ready for the morning.

“Melissa, you’re glowing.”

Melissa smiled. “Mother!”

“You’re not nervous, are you?”

“Not a bit!”

“My dear,” said her mother, “come sit down.”

Melissa sat in the best chair.

“I’m glad you’re up early,” her mother continued. “I wanted to talk to you about your wedding night.”

“Oh!” Melissa said, and blushed.

“I know that it is truly impossible for a girl to be prepared for her wedding night,” said her mother, “but I wanted to know if...if you knew at all what to expect...if you had any questions that I can answer.”

“I don’t know,” said Melissa. “I...don’t know what to ask.”

“Do not worry about it at all,” said her mother. “The wedding is your day, and it is something that you will have forever. The wedding night is for the man, it is his time to fulfill his wishes. Let him lead you, succumb to him. Remember that he is giving you a life, that he is giving you children, a home, food, clothes—everything. This is your duty. Men know what to do, it is in their nature, and it is your nature to follow where he leads you.”

“Will it be painful?” asked Melissa.

“Only a little,” her mother said, “only at first. There is really no reason to worry or be concerned. It is natural. This is how God blesses us with children.”

“Oh,” said Melissa.

“I must see to the bacon,” said her mother, since smoke was beginning to rise off the stove.

Melissa sat quietly. The conversation was, unintentionally perhaps, a lie. Melissa knew what men wanted, what men did on their wedding night. She knew about the secret violent places in men’s souls. It was painful, always. Her mother was lying. She sat quietly. She hadn’t made the connection between that thing and John Peacock’s fumbling caresses. He was so like a child, so needy and gentle, that she could not quite associate him with that thing.

She wanted to go up to bed, to feign illness, to put off this wedding day.

She thought of the tower.

The door opened, and a neighbor came in. Taking Melissa by both hands, she said: “My dear, you are so radiant. You are glowing. You are amazing!”

Melissa stood and smiled and thanked her and was again drawn into the glory of the wedding day.